ew firm, mark.ady has released a PR toolkit that can make even the most inept writer look like a literary genius. The free to download kit, which includes a press release template and PR tips, is drastically improving the lives of awful writers around the world, as well as the lives of all journalists who have wanted to rip their hair out after reading a horrible, garbage excuse of a press release.

“The initial goal was to help tech startups draft and pitch cool press releases. We were just getting tired of hearing the same stories time and time again,” said Margaret Ady, founder of mark.ady. “We knew we were on to something after showing the kit to a journalist who was so moved by its greatness that he cried for 45 minutes. I mean, we ran out of tissues to give to him. It is that damn good.”

Concerned about the sharp decline in quality of news announcements, the team at mark.ady set out to make press great again (thanks for plagiarizing our line, Donald). If you’ve read the download, then you already know the result: 16 pages of pure awesomeness.

“This epic kit almost made my heart explode out of pure, unadulterated joy. Once I got through that, I realized why my last press release sucked so bad,” says Brittany Jones, author of last month’s announcement titled, “Boresville Inc. Releases Disruptive SaaS Product Built By A Team of Super Smart Developers.”

The PR kit from mark.ady includes:

• A guide to writing amazing press releases
• How to turn a press release into a sweet blog article
• Do’s and don’ts for pitching to journalists

As news of the kit hit the wires, journalists around the world let out a collective sigh of relief. “I’m actually looking forward to checking my inbox on Monday, for the first time in 23 years,” says one excited journalist who asked that we not divulge his name in case his boss is reading this press release. “My blood pressure has even dropped dramatically just knowing I won’t receive really bad pitches anymore. My doctor says it is the best thing to happen to me since I went Paleo. Heck, I might even do yoga this weekend!”